Edward, Heroin, and everything nice
by youloveme
Summary: Edward was my favorite drug, but once he left I had to find a new drug, and I found more than one that keeps me happy until...I run out and realize what i've become...how ugly I truly am and how I am no longer innocent...what would Edward think?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I do not own thw wonderful Characters of Mrs. Meyers but I do own this Plot and whatver Characters I make up!

A/N- Hey guys! This is my first story for twilight So i hope you will enjoy it. I am open to any advice anyone has, but please if you are gonna be straight up mean about it don't even leave a comment! But i do like advice, just advice thats not hateful! Anyways this is just a little peak of what I hope becomes a great story!

I take a look at myself in the Mirror and cringe. I hadn't showered all weekend and I looked and smelled bad, it's not that I meant to have bad hygiene but I was too high all weekend to even think about it. I turn on the shower letting it get smoldering hot preparing myself for the pain. No, not the physical pain of the hot shower, the pain of Edward seeing me like this.

It had been a year since the love of my life left me dying in the forest, for Sam to find me. Even though I appreciate what Sam did for me, what Jacob did for me, and especially what Emily did for me, I couldn't hang around Forks anymore. So after Graduation I moved back in with my mom and Phillip. That's when everything went down hill. I met up with some people who happened to be into drugs, and I mean INTO drugs. They couldn't go a day without being high. I soon found myself in a world that I knew Edward would not approve of…but sometimes that made it even more thrilling to know he would not like this. I mean don't get me wrong I am still madly in love with Edward, but he broke me into tiny little pieces that don't seem to fit anymore. Anyways here I am doing all different types of drugs like Heroin, Morphine, Crack, and anything that would get me high. I am not as bad as some of the people around me I can go sometime without most my drugs…except one. The best one, the one I can never have again…Edward.

As I start thinking about Edward I start shaking with sobs threatening to fall. I think back to the guy who I slept with last night, or more correctly the guy I was forced to sleep with last night. As I think of the past events I start scrubbing my body raw. Edward would definitely not want me now, not after all my innocence is gone everything that was supposed to be Edwards has been taken away from me. I quickly grab my razor which is stashed in the drawer and start carving the D at the end of Edward after all the other letters on my stomach. I watch as my blood…Edward's blood spills out of the freshly cut d. Soon I completely lose it and collapse onto the ground letting the water run over my cut.

Once the water starts becoming cold I stand up and grab a towel and quickly rush out of the bathroom. I was definitely feeling the need for a shot…

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Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed and and please R&R! love ya!Angel


	2. a familiar face

**Disclaimer**- I own nothing, but this plot and any characters i decide to put in!

A/N- So i know i only got two reviews, (which is okay cuz i still loved them) but...I felt like it would only make since for me to update so people can get more of a feel for the story, b/c truth be told i didn't give you much the first chapter! Anyways I hope you guys enjoy this chapter b/c i enjoyed writting it! and please review so it will motivate me to do the next chapter!

**_Special thanks_** to Emmaline Troy and fireblue004 for reviewing and everyone else who added me to there alert list and fav list! Thanks that means just as much as the reviews do!

NOW ON TO THE STORY!

I let the needle fall to the ground as I waited for the drugs to course through my veins. I took an extra dose to take my pain away. As I lay on my bed I let my mind wander to all the great times I had in Forks with my Edward…and my family. I feel a faint smile play on my lips, something that seems so foreign to me. I hear my bedroom door open, but I do not look. I'm too wrapped up in my thoughts of our meadow to hear what exactly my mom is saying. I think I hear her call for Phillip but I'm not completely sure. I soon feel warm arms wrap around me shaking me, calling my name. For some reason I cannot reply, I know my mom is there and I know she is holding me but I just see Edward holding me tight and never letting me go. I hold on tight and close my eyes feeling safe in his arms and then everything went black.

"Bella Sweetie wake up" I heard my mothers soft words I opened my eyes and shot up. I was looking around frantically realizing that I was in the hospital.

"What the hell am I do here?" I asked angrily looking at my mother and Phillip

"First of all you will not take that tone with me and second of all I found you half dead on your bed what was I supposed to do?" My mother snapped back at me.

"You should have left me to die" I said falling back on my pillow

"Bella…why?" my mom said holding back the tears

I kept quiet knowing I would cry too if I answered.

"Bella why, why are you doing drugs…is it us? I mean are we not there enough?" she asked letting the tears fall. At this point I lost it and begin crying myself

"No mom this has nothing to do with you, you and Phillip have been amazing it's just been hell since…since he left…" I trail off and fight back the other rush of tears

"I'm mean I love him and part of me wants to see him…them again but then the other part just wants nothing to ever do with them again" I said looking up at my mom who suddenly looked worried

"mom what's wrong?" I ask grabbing her hand

"Bella listen…" She started but was cut off when the door opened and in walked my father, Charlie and a man I thought I would never have to see again.

"Hello Bella, it's good to see you again."

"What the HELL is he doing here?" I said pointing to Carlisle

"Bella you watch your mouth" I heard my dad say but I ignored him and jumped out of bed ignoring the pain.

"Who are you to show back up in my life like this? What the hell are you even doing here? Isn't it a little too sunny out for ya?" I said point my finger at him.

"Bella now that is enough!" Charlie "Now your mother and I asked Carlisle to come out here and check on you! We knew he knew you well and thought it was a good idea to have him run the test and such."

"Dad why would you do that to me? Why him of all people? How did you even find them?" I asked yelling at the top of my lungs

"We moved back to Forks Bella" Carlisle simply said and I couldn't help but laugh

"Oh mighty funny how when I leave the wonderful beautiful Cullen's decided to show up! Well you know what Dr. Cullen, you can go back to Forks now! I'm fine, thanks for your help" I said putting a clearly fake smile on my lips"

"You'll be going back to Forks with them Bells" I heard my mom whisper behind me. My head snapped back so fast that it popped. Ignoring it I looked at my mom and said"Excuse me?"

"You'll be going back to Forks with me Bella" Charlie said this time

"Why, I'm fine you guys! Look Dr. Cullen made me all better!" I said throwing my hands up

"You're not fine Bella, from the test Dr. Cullen ran and from all the drugs we found in your room…you're far from fine sweetie" My mom said as she put her hand on my shoulder. I pushed her hand of my shoulder

"Who gave you the okay to go through my things? What makes you think you have the right? Because you are my "mother", ha okay because you've been so motherly like lately?" I said laughing rudely and I saw the tears begin to form in her eyes.

"you little insolent brat! How dare you talk to your mother like that" Phillip said jabbing me with his finger

"Oh I'm sorry did I offend you Phillip? Oh wait I don't give a damn, your not even part of this dysfunctional family. So back the hell off!" I said pushing him with all my might. I only managed to push him back a few steps but I felt better. Soon I felt someone grab my arm rough, I turned around to look into Charlie's very angry eyes.

'oh shit' I thought to myself

"You are going to Forks tomorrow morning and I will not hear another word about it. And before we leave you will apologize to your mother and to Phillip" He yelled spitting on my face. I tried to jerk my arm away but he kept a firm grip on it. It sucks to have Police officers as fathers.

"Fine!" I yelled back "Then everyone get out, so I can have some peace and quiet to myself. Slowly they all walked out of the room. Last to leave was dear old Carlisle who gave me the look that said if I tried anything he would knew. I flew onto my bed and let the tears escape. I was so scared to go back to Forks, to see them again.

'oh god what I would do for some drugs right now!' I screamed in my head and instantly remembered that I had a razor blade in my jean pockets. I found my razor blade and rushed to the bathroom.

'there is no way he could know, we are in a hospital after all' I snickered to myself as I raised my gown to look at my beautiful scar across my stomach. Edward was spelled out. I decided to re-open the E. As soon as I begin I felt my great incredible bliss as my blood spilled down my skin. I just watched it till it begin to clot. Before I had time to cover myself up the bathroom door slammed open.

"Bella What the hell!" Carlisle yelled

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Aw thanks for reading guys! please R&R! love me!


	3. Learning how to manage

**Disclaimer**-I do not own any characters from Twilight series, i do however own my charcters i create and I own this plot!

A/N- hey guys sorry it's been a little wait! I've been pretty busy these past couple of days. I do want to thank everyone who has been reviewing and I also want to thank those who have added me to the favorite list or even there alert list! That means a lot to me as well! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

_Flash back_

_"Bella what the hell." Carlisle yelled._

I pulled my gown back down to cover my body and backed up to the wall.

"Carlisle get out" I screamed at him tears forming in my eyes

"Oh don't think I'm going anywhere without an explanation. Bella you've got to stop destroying yourself" Carlisle said with such care and love in his eyes

"no, no he doesn't care" I whispered clamping my hands on my head

"Bella I do care, we all care. We never wanted something like this to happen to you!" Carlisle said looking at me with his gentle eyes

"Your lying Carlisle, if you cared you would have never left me! It's your fault I have to resort to this" I yelled letting the tears flow freely

"Oh god I can't stand all these emotions, just let me out of here and give me some drugs!" I said trying to rush past him but of course being the vampire he is I couldn't make it past him

"damn leech!" I yelled pounding on his chest only hurting myself and I swear I saw hurt flash in his eyes. But I didn't care.

"Bella, please we never knew this would hurt you like this. We thought we were protecting you" As he said this he wrapped his arms around me. I tried to fight it at first but he held strong. Soon I just grabbed his shirt and cried harder.

"Bella, Carlisle, are you in here?" I heard Charlie yell

Panic over took me as I looked up at Carlisle pleading with him

"Please don't tell him about the cutting, it's bad enough he found out about the drugs"

"Then it stops now Bella" Carlisle said firmly

"What? No I can't" I said looking down

"Bella, then I'm going to tell him." He said letting go of me and grabbing the door handle

"Wait! Okay I'll stop, please don't tell him" I said looking at him in the eye

"okay" he smiled and walked out of the bathroom

I turned back to the mirror and smiled. No way in hell was I about to give up drugs or cutting. I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I turned and walked out of the bathroom into my room where everyone was talking.

"Okay, I'll get help, but I'm gonna do this at my pace…"

"Bella…" My mother interrupted

"mother what I mean by that is I'm only gonna be able to be around the cullens for so long before I start getting out of control" I said looking at Carlisle who nodded his head.

"and now if you all would be so kind and let me go home and get what I need and then say my goodbyes before I change my mind" I said calmly

"Okay Bells! Lets get going, our plane leaves in a couple of hours" Charlie said putting his arm around my shoulder.

We didn't live far from the hospital so I was at home in no time. I smiled at my family and walked up to my room and locked my door. I ran over to my dresser and started throwing my teddy bears on the ground until I came to the teddy bear I was looking for. I unzipped it and checked.

"Good it's still there" I whispered to myself as I pulled out my secret stash of my drugs. I kept it there incase anything like this ever happened.

A sudden knock pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Bella honey, April is down stairs." My mother said through my door.

_'perfect' _I thought to myself as I opened the door smiled at my mom and flew downstairs to see my best friend.

"April!" I said throwing my arms around her.

"Bella, are you really leaving?" She asked tears in her eyes

"yeah, I have too. I gotta go to rehab or something. That's my doctor right there Dr. Cullen" I said pointing into the kitchen where my family was

"Well holy, at least he is fine" She whispered to me and I swear I saw Carlisle smirk

"Yeah, anyways how did you find out?" I asked her

"Your mom called and told me. Oh gosh I don't know what I would do if my family ever caught me" She whispered to me and I saw Carlisle's head turn towards us.

"stop, eavesdropping" I said barely above a whisper, but I knew he heard me.

"Well, I really have to go to Work Bella. I just wanted to say goodbye. I'm really gonna miss you Bells! I'll write to you and even send you some postcards" She said grabbing my hand and I looked at her and smiled

Postcards was our keyword for drugs.

"Thanks April! That means so much to me! You'll have to leave the sun and visit me in the rain sometime!" I said giving her one final hug before she left. As I closed the door I just stood and smiled to myself.

_'this might just work!'_ I thought to myself.

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Thanks for reading! Please review! Love...ME!


	4. AN read if you want to know why

A/N: HEY guys! Okay I am so sorry I have not updated yet. My life has been hectic! we've been remodeling our house and plus it's my Juinor year and thats stressful enough! Anyways I will try to give you atleast two chapters this weekend/upcoming week. It will most likely be during next week because I do have Prom this Friday! (I'm so excited) but I just wanted to let you guys know whats been going on and why I haven't updated.

And Also i want to thank everyone for R&R my story! you guys are great! And also thanks to all those who added my story to there favorite list or there alert list! .

Thanks


	5. Slut? I'll show you slut

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. I do not own Stephanie meyers Characters and I do not own Frontier.

**A/N:** OH MY GOSH I am sosososososososo sorry! I meant to have a Chapter in here way before now! My computer broke and somehow through the grace of God it worked today! So thankfully I was able to post! I would like to thank all my readers. And thank you for all the reviews and people who added me to their favorite list(s)/alert list(s). I cannot say when the next update will be. But I will try to make it asap! also sorry for the short Chapter! ENJOY!

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I was sitting on the plane clutching my teddy bear, while I sat between Carlisle and Charlie. In about an hour I was going to be landing and then I would be headed to Forks.

"You know Jacob and all of them are going to be waiting for us there. They are really excited to see you Bells" Charlie said smiling at me. I forced a little smile back at him

"Yeah me too."

"Isn't your family going to be there too Carlisle?" Charlie asked

"Yes they are" Was Carlisle's simple answer

"Oh hell, I'm going to have to deal with them tonight?" I said disgusted

"Isabella Swan you watch your mouth and apologize" Charlie yelled spitting on me

"First off _Charlie_, thanks for getting everyone's attention . You can all go back to your little perfect lives now" I sneered at them. I didn't have to be a vampire to hear there disgusted groans

"Secondly _Charlie_ I would appreciate it if you didn't spit on me. And thirdly I will talk about the Cullen family how ever I very well damn please! Now if you excuse me I would like to get away from the both of you" I said standing up and trying to leave. I felt a rough dry hand grab my wrist tightly. I whipped around and glared at Charlie.

"I don't know what the hell happened to you but I know I don't like it! Now you listen to me Isabella while you are living under my roof you will show me respect along with showing Carlisle and his family respect."

"The hell I will" I growled trying to free my arm, but he tightened his grip

"I am not going to take this from my drugged up slut of a daughter" He yelled. I gasped and looked into his eyes that held fear and regret.

"That's right I know you've been sleeping around, we read your diary" He replied answering my question

"You had no right to do that!" I said still trying to yank my wrist out '

"You will never go back to that girl Bella! Even if I have to lock you up" He said letting go abruptly causing me to stumble a little. Thankfully Carlisle helped me straighten up. I looked Charlie in the eyes and out on the most sweetest fake smile I could muster.

"Whatever you say officer" and I laughed as I saw the anger in his eyes. Grabbing my teddy bear and my purse I turned and headed to the bathroom. I knew I shouldn't have been talking to my father like that. But he made me angry, he acted as though the Cullen family were all Angels sent from heaven. I snorted as I opened the bathroom door.

"If he only knew" I whispered to myself locking the door. I opened up my teddy bear pulling out a bag of white substance. I poured only some of it out and made a few lines. I quickly snorted it and sat back letting it course through me.

"ah that feels so much better" I sat there like that until the way to happy lady spoke over the intercom

"We will be landing in Five minuets at Port Angeles, Washington air port. Please take your seats"

"Well time to face it" I said pulling out my perfume to mask the smell of drugs from Carlisle. I opened the door and made my way to my seat. A smile on my face.

"We have now landed in Port Angeles, Washington. Please exit in an orderly fashion. Thank you for riding with Frontier"

'Orderly Fashion my ass, I have to get off this plane' I thought while I grabbed my stuff and hurried off the plane.

Upon exiting I saw two very different groups waiting for me. The Cullen Family were the first I saw . They were all wearily smiling at me. I quickly looked at the other group consisting of my favorite russet skin colored boy. I smiled brightly at them.

'you want a slut father, I'll give you a slut' I thought running and jumping in Jacob's arms. I wrapped my legs around him and Kissed him. I slid my tongue into his mouth and felt him respond in more ways then one. I added some moaning for emphasis. I suddenly heard gasps, Isabella, Bella, and a very distinctive growl. I pulled back and said

"Hiya Jacob, it's been awhile" And leaned in for another kiss.

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**Thanks for reading!! Please Review! I really do love them they keep me going! love ya!**


	6. I'm disappointed in you

**DISCLAIMER-** I do not own any of the twilight Characters they rightfully belong to Stephanie Meyers. Any other Characters rightfully belong to me

**A/N-**You are all free to shoot me now!! I am so sorry for the wait! I've been super busy with the year ending and all that! It's been crazy! Plus I have family graduating and all that jazz! But here is a chapter!! yay! I hope you all like it, I don't feel like it's my best chapter but I hope it isn't horrible!

**oh and just a random thought, have any of you seen the lifetime real woman show bloodties? Well if you have do the characters kind of remind you of Edward, bella, and Jacob in a little twisted way?**

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"Isabella Marie Swan, you get off him this instant!" I heard Charlie yell. I pulled back and looked at Jacob as he gently sat me down.

"Well dang Bells if that's how you are going to greet me every time you come back, you should leave more often." I giggled and replied

"Well I'm glad you are excited to see me! And when I move my dear Jacob," placing my hand on his cheek "Everyone else will see just how excited you are to see me" I said looking down and smirking

"That's okay let the leeches see" he said leaning down and kissing me again

"Jacob Black, if you don't stop I'll have to take you right here right now!" I laughed pulling away and looking at my father

"Charlie can we head home now?" I said flustered

"Don't you think you should say hello to the Cullen's as well? They did come all the way here for you"

I looked over at the family and made eye contact with the one I would never stop loving. He looked so serene that I lost my breath. I wanted to run up to him kiss him and forgive him, But I wouldn't. I ripped my gaze away from him.

"No, I just want to go home"

"Bella, please don't be like that!" It was Alice's pixie voice talking to me as she grabbed my hand. I turned and glared at her with as much hatred as I could muster.

"oh I'm sorry, don't be mad? Yeah because most people are happy when their FAMILY and the one they LOVE leaves them." I laughed dryly "I'm sorry I must be abnormal! I'll try and be more perfect like you Alice. Oh how about this, different situation I'll go flirt with Jasper take him away from you okay!" I winked at Jasper "and you will be okay with it right? I mean you are perfect and all" I smirked and felt a cold hand make contact with my face. I felt the warm liquid drip out the corner of my mouth and looked up. Rosalie was escorting Alice back to there group as she was shaking with dry sobs.

"Oh I'm sorry, did that hurt Alice? It sucks to be betrayed huh? But the difference is I was betrayed and you know I would never do that to you. There was only one I loved" I yelled at her wiping the blood from my mouth .

"Hmmm I'm bleeding, you want me now Edward?" I smirked at him and only received a hurtful glare, but a glare nonetheless. I'd pissed him off, good. I turned to a dumfounded pissed Charlie

"Can we leave now?" Instead of an answer he grabbed my arm roughly and pushed me against the wall.

"Isabella I have never been so disappointed in my life! I failed you as a parent, and I'm sorry but here's a life lesson. You are a big girl find your own damn way home and you will report to Dr. Cullen's house by eight a.m.. If you are not there I will send out a search party and have you arrested .

I laughed and I knew I shouldn't have but I didn't want them to see my cry. My laughing gave me another smack in my face. This one hurt more that a vampires smack. I had hurt my father, I saw that as he looked at me face red and eyes full of tears. He abruptly turned around and left me there. Falling to the ground and crying was all I could do, except feeling like an idiot. I'd let them see my weakness.

I dried my eyes and stomped past everybody to one person.

"I would just like to say this is all your fucking fault! You did this to me, made me start doing drugs and letting guys take advantage of me. If you would have never left me none of this would have happened. But here I am disappointing everyone. So thank you Edward because even though this is all your fault even though I blame you for everything I'm still so in love with you! I yelled letting the tears fall freely.

Before I could react he grabbed me and kissed me slipping his tongue into my mouth. I begin to lose it and to respond, I wanted him back. I suddenly pushed him back.

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare try this Edward I'm not going to give into you like I did before"

"Bella I love you and never stopped loving you. I made a mistake I'm sorry" He said grabbing my hand in his. I started to melt. Then I was pushed behind a very tall russet colored man.

"I'm pretty sure she said she didn't want you back leech so back off!" Jacob growled to Edward

"This doesn't concern you dog!" Edward replied

"Actually I think it does, or did you forget the way she greeted me?" Jacob laughed and Edward didn't respond.

"So thanks for the company but we will be leaving now." Jacob said picking me up and carrying me to his car. I never heard Edward protest which just confirmed my suspicions. He didn't care for me.

**thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and I also want to thank all those who reviewed!! please review again!**


	7. Tears, mistakes, and skanks

**DISCLAIMER-** I OWN NOTHING BUT THIS PLOT AND THE CHARACTERS I CREATE. ALL TWILIGHT CHARACTER AND REFERENCES BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYERS.

**A/N-** hey guys I want to thank all those who reviewed. They all meant a lot! I would also like to mention that I plan on doing an Edward P.O.V. (thanks Lyssa Wolf). So I will try and get that up asap! I also really hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Now on to it!

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I was awaken by warm rough hands shaking me gently.

"Bella you've got to wake up it's 7:30 and you are supposed to be at the leeches' house by eight.

I jerked up and looked around and noticed I was in Jacob's small room. I looked down and noticed I was naked.

"Jacob…what happened last night?" I asked and he looked dumbfounded at first but then caught on

"Oh nothing like that happened. You Just kind of took off your clothes not too long after you fell asleep. Hey who was I to complain?" Jacob smirked and I felt my face heat up.

"Uh you are impossible Jacob Black!" I yelled as I headed to his bathroom for a shower.

My shower was less than ten minutes and I soon found myself back in Jacob's room.

"Do you have a wife beater and some boxers I could wear?" I asked Jacob sweetly

"Yeah" he grunted as he rummaged through his drawers. He handed me the clothes as I turned around and dropped the towel. I felt his eyes burning into my back as I dressed. I could tell he was watching my every move from rolling the boxers up to tying the shirt so it was tighter.

"What time is it?" I asked throwing my hair into a messy bun

"Oh shit it's 7:50 we got to go" he said grabbing me and running out the room. I barely had time to grab my flip-flops.

Jacob drove over the speed limit and we arrived at the Cullen's house by 8:10. All the Cullen's were outside the house including Charlie and a pretty Brunet who was standing just a little too close to Edward.

"You're late Bella" Charlie muffled

"Sorry Charlie, but you see it's really Jacob's fault because he overslept" I giggled stupidly and received a little shove from Jacob. I looked up and saw Charlie smile slightly.

"I'm glad to see you behaving better Bella" Charlie said putting his arm around me

"Yeah I'm sorry for being so disrespectful to you dad it was just everything was so shocking,"

"It's okay thanks for apologizing kiddo" he said giving me a hug fully. I strangely felt better. That is until

"I thought she was here for rehab not some family reunion" I snapped my head to the brunet who was standing next to Edward.

"Julia!" Esme sternly warned

"What? I'm sorry Esme but this is just pathetic she's probably only being nice to her father because she's on drugs. So I'm just thinking we should probably get this rehab thing rolling" The girl Julia said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Now in most instances I would probably agree with her about the whole drug thing but since I wasn't on any drugs this bitch was about to get it.

"Now listen here bitch, you don't know me well enough to even be talking about me like that!"

"Bella calm down" Charlie said

"No, I'm sorry but she started this and I'm not just going to sit here and let her talk to me like that. You taught me better than that Charlie and you know that" I said back to him and he backed off.

'I know that you're a little drugged up whore, and everyone else here thinks so too. So what more do I need to know?" She shouted back. When she said everyone else I saw every single one of my family members freeze. Swallowing back the tears I was about to retort when someone I least expected spoke up for me,

"Now you listen here young lady! That's my daughter you are talking about and I'm not going to let some little teenager who doesn't even know her talk about her like that. Hell I won't even let myself talk about her like that anymore!" Charlie yelled.

I was shocked beyond belief. The man who was just calling me a slut yesterday was sticking up for me and apologizing in his own way.

"D…dad " I choked "Thanks"

"This doesn't mean I won't enforce the rules Bella, but I don't have to make life harder on you. Because this sure as hell isn't going to be easy" Charlie said to me. That's when I started to think, maybe I could try this. For my dad I mean he's putting so much faith into me, I owe to him to at least try. As I thought this I looked up and saw Julia glaring daggers at Charlie's back.

"I swear if you guys don't get the bitch out of here I will do whatever it takes to kill her, even if I have to kill myself first" I mumbled loud enough for my former family to hear,

"Carlisle I'm going to take Julia on walk" Edwards soft sweet voice rang. Carlisle nodded his head as they walked past me. As my Edward passed me I felt the most gentle touch. So gentle I touched my cheek.

"Please don't do this to me Edward" I said aloud "This hurts so much! I want you back, but I don't want you back. I just don't know what to feel Edward. Part of me wants to just stay in your arms and kiss you, another part just wants to make you pay." I said letting a few tears flow down my cheek. "Edward you are my utmost favorite drug, you are the one drug I could never learn to live without. No matter how much I hate you I love you even more" I yelled and as I said those last words I heard two very distinctive growls. One from my Jacob and the other from the skank Julia.

"Edward what is she talking about?" Julia asked

"What do you mean what am I talking about? You live with them and you don't know about me at all?" I asked dumbfounded

"no…." She said "Well unless you're the girl he used to date…."

"Yes…" I eyed her

"Julia" Edward warned

"Well then I will need you not to profess your love to my Fiancé!" Julia said and I did a double take

"Excuse me? Fiancé? What the hell is she talking about Edward?" I asked

'I'm talking about me and Edward getting married…in two days and you're not invited" Julia said with a smirk. I found myself looking at Edward who looked guilty.

"Edward…" was all I heard from Alice before everything went black.

**Thanks for reading guys! Please review because all your reviews keep me going and they mean so much to me! love ya!**


	8. Caught In between

**DISCLAIMER-**I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING THAT BELONGS TO MRS.MEYERS I DO OWN MY CHARACTERS

**A/N-**OH MY GOSH I KNOW IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I'VE UPDATED I'M SORRY! My excuse is that i had family graduate this year so it was a big thing, then I started taking a college class to get a head start so i'm a little busy. Though I promise to try and update more often because I did get a new computer(YAY!). Also I would like to say that I am NOW A SENIOR BABY! 09!! lol Also I finally put Pictures up of my characters so go have a look.

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**EDWARD'S P.O.V**

I couldn't bear the look on her face. The way I had betrayed her, and I had betrayed her even if it was for my life, for our life that I hoped we could return to. I felt all these emotions as she lay downstairs passed out. All this pain so the volturi wouldn't destroy my family and this worthless human. Not that I cared that much about this human but Carlisle was so sympathetic. I still cannot believe all this happened. I still remember the day. It was only two months ago.

I was so enraged with myself, I had let the love of my life think I wasn't in love with her. I remember running into a forest being reckless. I was so deep into the forest I didn't think anyone would be there. So there I was running into trees breaking them easily as I kept running. So angry with myself I just wanted to break everything in sight. Then I became thirsty. With no stealth at all I was running like a mad man(except faster) grabbing animals and snapping there necks. I was drinking hastily, and I knew I looked disgusting and terrifying. As I ran into a little opening and grabbed a deer and begin drinking I heard a twig snap and a small gasp. I looked up and saw seep brown eyes. I was stunned, letting the deer drop and not bothering to wipe the blood away. Was this my Bella standing in front of me? I sniffed looking for her luscious scent of blood. But it wasn't the smell I was expecting. I told myself this had to be someone impersonating my Beautiful Bella. I growled and felt myself lung before I let reality hit me. As I lunged toward her she stumbled backwards and fell roughly on her butt. Landing gracefully on top of her growling I decided I would end whatever creature this was. As soon as I took a hold of her throat I felt 2 pairs of hands grab my hands and remove them from her neck and then throw me backwards into a tree. I scrambled to straighten myself out and look up. In front of me I saw Jasper and Carlisle with the Bella impersonator behind them.

"What are you doing, don't you see that thing is trying to impersonate Bella?" I growled through my clench teeth.

Confusion passed through all three of them.

"Edward look closer" Carlisle said understanding replacing his confusion

"What are you talking about Carlisle?" I said a little more calmly thanks to Jasper

"Edward look at her closer, what do you see?" Carlisle said again

And this time I did even though I was annoyed. Why couldn't we just kill this impersonator I said to myself. Though as soon as I looked closer at this girl I saw she wasn't my Bella. They had similar skin and there eyes and hair color were the same. But she was nothing like my Bella. Ashamed of myself for nearly killing a human I hung my head and said loud enough for them to hear.

"I don't know what possessed me Carlisle. I'm so sorry" I said but before anyone could say anything we all heard a thump. Turning to the sound we realized it was the human girl. She had passed out.

"Carlisle I think she is hurt. I didn't biter her obviously but after all this and the way I had my hands around her throat…Just get her out of here I'll be home soon" I said

They nodded understanding and left me to destroy the forest some more.

Upon returning home I found that the human was still there sitting in the living room with the whole family. As I walked in my whole family looked worried and stressed. The human how ever seemed satisfied. I quickly begin to read her mind.

"No absolutely not, you will not stay with us and I will not marry you" I growled She didn't say anything but I heard my name being called by Carlisle. I looked at him angry.

"Edward, I'm sorry but we have to go along with this until we find a better solution. Otherwise we all die." Carlisle said sadly to me through his mind. I looked at Alice and confirmed what Carlisle said. Alice had had a vision and as I read her mind I saw my family being tortured by the volturi. I couldn't bear so I put my focus somewhere else trying to block out the screams of my family.

"Fine." was all I said as I walked out of the room.

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**I Know It's short but i'm still new at the whole Edward P.O.V thing. So next time I do this i promise it will be longer. PLEASE REVIEW**


	9. AUTHOR NOTE

A/N-I'M SO SORRY!! I KNOW I HAVE NOT UPDATED IN FOREVER. LIFE HAS BEEN SUPER BUSY. Not only has life been busy but i had lost my enthusiasm. It seems the story has not headed in the direction that i had planned. But I will make sure to give you guys an update no later than WED. I will make sure it is lengthy or more than one chapters. i am so sorry to everyone for not updating!! please forgive me!


	10. SORRY GUYS!

HEY ALL IM SORRY I HAVE TOO MUCH GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS STORY SO IT IS BEING PUT ON HOLD! IM SORRY AGAIN!


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